I don’t want to

I don’t want to move

It’s too comfortable here

Where I lay

Nothing needs to be changed

I do not want to get up

I do not want to put in the effort to move things

Clean things

Scrub things

Tend to things

Take care of things

It’s comfortable here

It’s comfortable here

But my stomach is growling

My head is spinning

My bladder is full

I do not want to get down from here

I do not want to move

It’s too comfortable here

So comfortable here

Is it a problem that I do not want to move?

That I am not tending to my physical needs?

To my physical environment?

To my work?

To the world?

I just feel safe

I feel comfortable

I do not want to move

Why move when it feels so warm and safe here?

Why move when the unknown starts when I do?

Why move when I see no point in making the change?

In being the change

It won’t make a difference

No one will see

No one will know

No one will recognize or thank me for what I do

What is the point?

What is the point of moving from here?

I don’t want to move

I don’t want to move

It’s too scary to move

What if I make a mistake?

What if I get yelled at?

What if I hurt somebody?

What if all I do is all for naught?

Efforts wasted with nothing to gain, nothing to earn

Nothing rewarded for what I do?

I don’t want to risk it

I don’t want to risk it

It’s too scary to risk it

Leave me here

Leave me alone

Under the sheets

Under the covers

Away from people

Away from things

Where it is comfortable

Where no one sees me

Alone

In the dark

Wallowing in my pain

The agony

The sorrow

I sob

Tears fall

Why?

Why must I leave here?

Why must I leave my bed when everything I do is useless?

No point in trying

I can’t

I can’t stay here

My body wants to move

She wants to move

She aches to move

I need to move

I need to get off

Get off from here

Come down from there

Down the hallway

Pass the doors

Into the light

I see myself

I see my face in the mirror

Eyes

Nose

Cheeks

Ears

Smile

I did it

I did it

I moved


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