One of my past boyfriends gifted me this panda bear when we were out at a fair. (I whooped his butt at a game, and the concession stand dude made him pay for the prize lol).
A few months later, we broke up and as much as I wanted to forget and move on from this relationship, I still loved him and the bear he had given me.
Our relationship was long distance, so holding this bear when we were away gave me a great sense of calm and peace. She fits in my arms just right, holding her little bum at the crook of my arm and her head at the palm of my hand.
I held her close to my chest–my heart space–nearly every night.
After the breakup, I still held my little friend for comfort and relief as I sorted through the deep suffering and pain from the loss I was experiencing from the breakup.
In my time of healing, I noticed my little bear had lost her smile: the thread pulled out from her small, white muzzle.
“How…fitting,” I thought.
I left her unsmiling for months.
It’s now July, about one and half years since my relationship ended.
With my heart feeling full of the love and life I once remembered from the many moments of solitude and self-healing, I can now help my little friend smile again.