One of my goals for 2018 was to create more traditional artwork + make them more personal to me. I think I made that happen. 😊
Looking back, I was more vulnerable in my work than I’ve ever been. And I’m so, so happy about that ♥️.
I didn’t know 2018 would be the year I would feel and heal through the pain of my past relationships and the absence of an emotionally available parent in my life.
I didn’t know I would say hi, befriend, and REALLY experience emotions like anger and sadness as well as fear and shame.
I didn’t know giving myself permission to feel these “unacceptable” feelings and understanding the human and personal reasons behind them would relieve the tightness from my chest and the heaviness of the critic from my mind.
I didn’t know I could feel more love, not by rushing to help someone, but by continually looking within and asking the questions I need most to hear: “How am I feeling? What do I want right now? What do I need?”
(I’m getting choked up just hearing those words.)
To those who reached out to me because you were struggling with life decisions and creativity this year, I love you and feel you. You are not alone, as you reminded me the same.
I am currently working on resources that may help me and others heal and create again, as it is something I am learning and practicing to do everyday.
I don’t know what 2019 will hold, but not knowing got me here. And not knowing will get me through.
Thank you for reading this far and HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!!! I love you! ♥️